Mornings

I am incapable of sleeping in. On the rare occasions that I sleep later than 7am, it's usually because I’m incredibly jet-lagged and forced my body to pick what time it is out of a hat. Despite it being my morning to sleep in, or that I stayed up till 6am, I wake up. I force a Dexilant and Claritin pill down my dry throat with stale water from two days ago, and snuggle back under the covers. I squeeze my eyes shut tight and hope that the elusive Sleep Fairy will return. But she doesn’t visit. She’s all, nah girl, you’re body is ready to go! It’s hungry. It’s gotta vacate unwanted waste. It needs some sun-freakin-light. So rise and shine, darling. Up and at ‘em! In her place, she hired my 4 year old to wake me up with, “Mom, I want waffles.” 

My ideal morning is one where I gently wake up to the silent sun slowly sliding and sneaking up to my face. It caresses my cheeks like an infatuated lover, as I take a few deep breaths and open my eyes to it’s brilliant blazing beams. I inhale the cup of fragrant green tea delicately steaming the air on my bedside table. I close my eyes again and choose some specific thoughts to help me focus on my day ahead as the sun kisses my eyelids. I am grateful for all the things I have and get to do today. I’m excited about my day ahead and look forward to spending the day taking care of myself and my family. 

I eat a breakfast of deliciously warm, nut grain waffles with almond butter and maple syrup, and finish my cup of tea in the quiet solitude. I savor every moment and every bite like it’s my last. As I sit, I read a book, and never have to get up from the table once, for anything or anyone. I watch the birds outside my window, excitedly twitter about the morning as they flit to and fro on the branches. I marvel at how awake and energetic they are, and wonder if maybe I should eat more seeds, too.  

Before the kids wake up: I have already emptied the dishwasher, and read a whole book. I have exercised, showered, made some phone calls, and taken a nap. I went grocery shopping and cooked them a breakfast feast: a smorgasbord of carb-filled items and fruits to keep their stomachs filled and all hunger-related tantrums at bay till lunchtime. I have had enough caffeine take over my body in order to be in charge of theirs. My house has been swept, mopped, dusted, and organized. Every puzzle piece has been zip locked together and every baby, Barbie, and Elmo doll are sitting perfectly on a shelf. The kids’ outfits for the day have been laid out, itinerary pre-planned, and snacks perfectly packed and ready to go. They run into the kitchen already dressed in beautifully coordinated, clean outfits. Their teeth have been brushed, hair combed, and matching socks and shoes are already on their feet. 

“Mom, can I have a waffle, please?”

Alas, I dream the impossible. But I bed you, dear Sleep Fairy,  please give me that dream again tomorrow night, thank you. 

(Day 4: 552 words down. 12, 837 to go)