My Super Human Power

   If I were super human, my super powers would be to shake. And no, not a sexy, "shake it, girl!" kind of shake that brings all the boys to the yard. Oh no. My shaking would look like I just walked into the frozen tundra in a bikini. My shaking power would aggravate the tectonic plates, and cause earthquakes that would split the Earth. It would create chasms in the roadways to stop bad guys in their get away cars. I'd convulse so quickly that my energy particles would form storm clouds in the sky, and I'd send lightening bolts down that would literally shock the bejesus out of evil villains and kids who didn't do their homework. And when I wasn't saving the planet, I'd most assuredly use my powers for my own benefit. I would never have to wear a jacket, because all my shivering would keep me warm. I wouldn't need a bath towel or blow dryer, I could just shimmy dry like a wet dog. I'd always be able to get the last bit of ketchup out of the bottle, rescue the stuck Poptart out of vending machines, and make a killer James-Bond-style martini. 

    Publicly sharing what I write makes me shake in my boots - specifically, my red Hunter rain boots that make me feel like Santa Claus in the spring. Unfortunately for me, every time in my life I've attempted any sort of vulnerability, I shake. I've painfully trembled every time I've sung on stage, spoke to a crowd, class or congregation, shared my feeeeeelings with someone, encountered confrontations, or been in an uncomfortable situation... I even shook uncontrollably while in labor with my first kid!
     Fun times. Now, if only I could actually use that shakin' superpower to save the world, or develop some sweet new dance moves and win money and fame on So You Think You Can Dance, or maybe even convince Outkast to sing about me instead of Polaroids... I'd be set. 

Vulnerability requires being seen. To put oneself out there. To show up.

I've made a commitment to become vulnerable, excruciatingly vulnerable. And apparently, according to Brene Brown in her Ted Talks, that takes courage, compassion, and connection. Starting this, a public blog, is taking a warehouse of my courage stores. I hope I'll be able to be compassionate to myself and others through it, and make meaningful connections. And not shake every time I hit the publish button.