The Day I Fell Off A Horse

When I was 9 years old, I fell off a horse, and I’m not sure why. The much smaller and milder horse Cinnamon, that I usually rode once a week, was off on a walk with some other lucky, child-size jerk. Thus, I was left with the most ginormous horse in the stable. The Black Stallion. I think it was appropriately named Lightning or Storm, or something equally ominous, like… Doom.

At some point during my riding lesson that day, I found myself hanging off the giant stallion’s saddle sideways. I am not exactly sure what kept me on as we galloped around the sandy ring. Maybe my left foot was still stuck in the stirrups? Maybe I had a sweaty hand clinging to the saddle’s horn? Where were the reins? I don’t remember. What I do remember, is my little kid self freaking out because I was not in control anymore. Clearly, this monstrosity I was sitting on smelled my fear, and quite literally, ran with it. My instructor, Heather, with her long red ponytail, kept shouting “Get up! Sit UP! SIT UP!” Yeah. Easier said than done, Heather. Did she have a savage creature gleefully running wild between her legs while she clung for her life?

I finally fell into the soft sand, squeezing my eyes closed and praying I wouldn’t fall to my death. I was fine. (A silent “thank you” to Jesus, especially that I didn’t fall into horse pucky). I opened my eyes to the triumphant black Stallion a few feet away, huffing his glass bottle nostrils and stomping his hooves in the sand nearby. I didn’t move. Heather immediately ran over to check if I was okay, and marveled repeatedly at the fact that the horse hadn’t trampled me.

I was a bit shaken, and I wish at this point in the story I could say I got back on the non-proverbial horse, but I didn’t get back on the horse. That was the official end of my career as a professional equestrian. My visions of jumping hurdles and shaking my fancy trophies in the air, parading around on top of a beautiful white horse with a huge, heart-shaped bouquet of roses around its neck… vanished into the Emily-shaped divot in the sand. (Apparently being an equestrain and a jocky were one in the same in my 9 year old imagination). My dreams disappeared as I stood at the spigot, washing the stallion’s disgustingly green, frothy bit (the metal part of the bridle that goes into the horse’s mouth - attached to the reins - that basically allows you to steer) and decided riding horses was no longer for me. Looking back, I think I was really only in it for the boots. 

To this day, that dream has never returned. And I think that’s okay, because at least I tried! I’ve always taken this approach to life. I LOVE trying new things. I’m in addicted to the small thrill and grand adventure of trying everything and anything new. During my college years, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life, so I continued to be open to anything and everything: working in retail stores and waitressing, nursing (both at a hospital and nursing home), sales (cell phones), working at a law firm, administrative assistant work, and working at a gym as a personal trainer. My current risks, the ones that have stuck and I’ll never quit or give up on: being a mom and wife. 

“There is such freedom in releasing the past so we can weigh ourselves with the joy and anticipation of what is to come… Adding a new chapter, a new volume, a new series is the greatest independence offered to us in life. Filling pages with characters, dreams, and plans adds a spark and mystery to each coming day. There is simply no telling which threads will end up binding the story of our lives, but without taking risks, making unexpected turns, and leaping at the opportunities open to us, the only thing sure to happen is to continue to relive the past. 

Don’t let yourself gather dust; purge those unwanted horror stories and make room for the next adventure, the next romance, the next great chapter of your life.” 

- Alisha Fridland. (I found this quote in the magazine Bella Grace in Barnes and Nobles. It’s $20, but it’s so worth it: it’s basically beautiful blog posts, essays, and photography matched together in print. So lovely!) 

I’m having a blast discovering other ways to take risks and try new things. Most recently, I’ve decided to spend this year traveling a ton, despite my recent anxiety and panic around flying, just to see if we like that sort of lifestyle (my stomach does not). I’m also experimenting more with my appearance and clothing, my relationship and beliefs around God and religion, reading new book genres, and food. I’m trying new things like Spinning (stationary bicycling) classes, being vulnerable, and starting this blog. I’m considering taking the plunge and going back to school for English/Literature/Writing and Choral Directing. And guys, next week, I get the chance to cross something off my bucket list: learning to surf in Hawaii!

I’m excited about the risks I’m going to take that I haven’t even considered yet. No need to get back on that horse. (That jerk.) I’m going to try a different one. Or something else. :)